First, I don’t think it is fair to judge somebody based on this situation. Unless it is you personally in this situation you can’t just say "it’s a sin to abort" or "well i’ll just abort the pregnancy" because it all seems plain and simple now but when it is happening to you personally all the emotions are different. It is a woman’s personal decision.

Think about things such as what would the quality of life be for the baby? Depending on the severity, they might be suffering their whole life. And obviously to care for this child they are going to need constant care and supervision for the rest of their life which means either one parent is going to have to quit their job or hire a caretaker (think big $$$), what if the family can’t afford it? And since you already have many children financially it could be very difficult if someone had to quit their job to stay home and take care of the child for the entire family not just for the 1 child who needs care.

Also question, what test did you have done? Did you just get preliminary tests that give a % of the chance of DS? Or did you go and get an amniocentesis which gives more accurate results? Since I noticed you said the baby MIGHT have DS…because what if the baby didnt’ have DS?

And as for talking to your children about it, I think they are definitely too young to understand the concept of abortion. The best bet for now is to tell the children that the baby was sick and didn’t make it. And perhaps in the future when they are older if you so choose they will understand better.

Good luck in whatever you decide.
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I also do a lot of work with a foundation that helps people Down Syndrome. You also don’t know if your baby really does have Downs and to what extent. Doctors do also make mistakes. This is a factor that my DH and I have had to consider. Even though my sister in law’s DS isn’t the hereditary type, we still have to consider the fact that it could happen to us. If it did, we would give that baby all the love we had inside us.

I am not trying to be rude, but please don’t post these types of questions on TTC. Please use other pregnancy forums. A lot of us would give anything in the world to be in your shoes, with a disabled baby or not. We go to these message boards to get advice on how to conceive and support each other through experiences that have happened to us that are out of our control. Knowing that someone is asking us how to tell their children they are throwing that gift away is heart wrenching.

I think God blesses the world with these children to remind us of how precious life is and God’s message comes in many forms, be it a child with DS. I was PG and miscarried a few weeks ago. It was a heart-wrenching experience and I would give my right arm to blessed with a child to raise with love.

Edit: BTW my SIL has no health problems other than speech issues and thyroid problems. She brightens up the room
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personal experience

I have never been in your shoes, and I hope I never have to be, but though my husband and I have been trying for 3 years for a baby we decided a long time ago that we would do the same thing as you are.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope you never have to go through this again.
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I know, I was told something when I was young that I didn’t fully understand. I didn’t know then that I didn’t understand, but I walked around for years thinking something happened when it actually was very differrent. Now, even though I’m an adult and know the truth, those years of living with a misconception left their mark.
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